My Sorrow day has gone (08 May 2010). New day cum..

What a day on 8th may 2010... A very Sad day for me. Suppose to be happy but turn out to be sad. I miss my dad. Yesterday is his 24th anni of death. All i can do is given him a bit of prayer of Al-fatihah. Amin.. The sad part is i cant go to his grave coz i gt no cash in hand. Secondly i was sick.. Having a fever on my birthday. Thirdly i was juz being myself without my love one by myside. haiz.. All d obstacle i face with a lot of shit.. but then this is all to test my patience. God is great. What a birthday day i haf on 8 may.

Full of obstacle to go thru. What a life i have now...Times change so fast.

Ya allah ya tuhan.. Aku terima je apa yg ko beri ku selama nie. aku anggap nie satu dugaan yg harus ku tempuh selama aku hidup. hidup aku dah penuh dgn seksa di dunia...

babah, semoga roh mu dicucuhri rahmat dan semoga babah di letak di golongan org yg beriman. amin.

A sad Birthday for me!!!!!!!

Today is my birthday suppose to be happy but i was turn to be sad... why seh??? have been crying for the whole day.. haiz... am so stress... My love is not w me by my side for the whole day.. All he do is play games, chat with his fren till he go werk.. i was left alone.. haiz.. luckily have his sister to talk too.. (i knw i have dne a mistake to u but doesn mean u cant forgive me rite??? ur mistake i cn forgive why nt me???) Like u say everyone make a mistake.. so do i.. but then if u think my mistake is so big for u pa, plx look backward of urs.. whose is much more biggest?? u or me?? well papa, mama tak nak ungkit apa2 pun but then u always sae watever am doin is all revenge.. its not pa.. u blum dgr the whole story yet u trus buat i nie mcm.. Nvm la not my dae also... Its ok.. hari2 kita gaduh pa.. am so stress..badan i nie mcm da lali plak w ur pukul... selalu kena pukul w abg nw w u.. haiz.. i tau i degil ungkal tapi tak semestinye kena jalan tangan... wheres ur promises pa, tat u wnt lay hand again on me.. no matter how kuat u pukul i, i tetap by urside walaupun hati i nie terluka.. I dah terlalu sygkan u pa.. am afraid of losing u. U sendiri tau i takde sape2 lage dlm idup except u n ur family.. mak da bleh accept i, u plak nie mcm... am so sad tau.. haiz... kalau papa fikir tat our world of love is rocky juz do our own ways k.. i dnt want u to suffer juz because of me. I noe i byk menyusah kan u. Frm the day i lari umah smp skg tak abis2 menyusahkan u.. Thanks for the support all tis while.. if i found a proper job i will never ever menyusahkan u lage ok.

11.30pm u left hme and go out w ur fren. Thanks for the birthday present ya...

i got nothing else to say as am sad... haiz...

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I still haf 6 more days to go to face the reality. Leaving my love one by himself.. haiz. Within this 2 weeks am outside me and him never fail to quarrel over small matter things. Yesterday was a big fight we have. Am sorry papa that am to be blame for everything.. mama tau papa buat nie semua kerana mama.. Papa tak nak tgk mama derita tapi papa, mama dah bersyukur yg papa slalu disisi mama walau bagaimana papa penat sekalipun. U never fail to be there for me. Thanks papa.. Pergorbanan papa terhadap mama tak dpt dibalas. Cuma mama bleh kasi papa kasih syg secukupnye. Mama takde harta benda di dunia yg bleh mama kasi papa.. cuma kasih syg mama je mama bleh kasi papa secukupnye. Mama try very hard to b sumone who understand ur situation but then i dnt noe why mama jadi bergini. Am so sorry papa to hurt ur feelings again. Kadang kala mama rasa mama nie byk menyusahkan papa. mama rasa tat am not worth at all to be ur special one. AM just useless.. Useless to anyone ESP my family..

Sekiranye satu hari papa tinggal kan mama, mama tak salah kan papa langsung. Sebab selama nie papa tahan dgn karenah perangai mama yg keterlaluan. mama sedar apa mama buat selama 5 bulan nie.. tak pernah pun mama kasi papa kebahagian dlm hidup papa. YG selalu mama kasi pada papa ada lah kemarahan. Tapi mama bersyukur pada ilahi sebab mama dapat seseorg seperti papa yg byk mengajar mama tentang kehidupan. tanpa papa, mama tak tau apa akan terjadi dlm hidup mama. Mama takde sape2 lagi dlm dunia nie cuma papa sorang je. Tapi kalau papa pergi dari hidup mama, mama tetap kena tabah dgn apa yg akan berlaku. mama tetap ingat pesanan papa. NEVER FAIL TO FORGET ALL UR WERDS THAT U HAF GIVEN ME..

Papa, mama love eu so much. That i cant even bare to be apart frm u. But apa bleh buatkan mama tetap kena pegi tinggalkan papa keseorgan. Am sorry papa thru out this 2010 am not by urside. Sekiranye kalau papa temui seseorg yg papa rasa papa bleh buat menjadi bini papa, go ahead papa. mama tak akan halang papa dgn apa pun. Tapi satu je mama minta pada papa, apa segala brg mama tolong simpankan. once am back i take it frm u. Walaupun hati sakit tapi i redha dgn apa yg berlaku dlm kehidupan kita. I harus terima nie semua dan anggap lah nie satu dugaan yg harus i tempuh.

Insyallah mama akan bertemu papa lage pada tahun 2011. Kalau jodoh mama ada bersama papa, papa tunggulah mama sampai mama kembali ke sisi papa lage.

All the best in this year aite papa.. Harap papa berjaya dlm kerjaya papa..

MAMA OLWAES LOVE AND OLWAES THINK OF U. TRUST ME NO ONE CAN EVER REPLACED U IN MY HART EVEN U LEFT ME ONE DAY. AM TOO DEVOTED TO U PAPA.

10/01/2010

Hey its a quite sometime i have not been in my blog... Well where shud i start first... Abt my life huh... Well here i go...

Last year 2009 was a year that many things have happen.. First family then many problems occur in me.. What a life!!! But then i still stay strong and face all kinds of the obstacle tat haf been thru me.. I was lucky enough that i haf my fiance by myside when i was really dwn.. Thanks papa...

Lets talk abt my family..

Guess everyone noe abt how my family have been treated me.. I never get the happiness frm them. All i get is being F@#* up and dwn.. Why must they treat me this way?? Am i ur daughter mum?? If yes why must u treat me this way... Well what can i say i juz no one in her heart and family.. For gdness sake NO FAMILY LOVE at all... Arghhhh!!!! Only god noe hw i suffer since am a kid till now.. Yes i do admit i was rebellious in the family but tat doesn mean u haf to treated me this way... Cut it short AM OUT FRM THE FAMILY TREE...

Abt my life...

I love my life now and then. I have my fiance by myside. Ups and dwn we went thru together. Quarrel is always in our life. This mth is our 6 mth together.. Alhamdulilah.. we still remain strg although we always quarrel. He teach me alot in LIFE.. Frm rebellious gerl to (ahakz cant get what i gonna sae).. LOL... Thanks for making me face the reality in life..


to my lovely wife..

thanks alot for been with me though the 6 months.. we should noe that there alot of up and downs.. but u should noe patience is the most important in relationship.. without patience we cant hold long.. banyak dugaan kita tempuhi walaupun kita half year.. frankly my patience that i set for you are very high.. dont noe why.. u wana to noe why i always marah kat u but my fwen i just diam...
seriously u are becoming my wife n i have to hold the pride of our names has a family..
bukan i suke2 nak marah.. kdd i just tergur what not gd for me to hear or see.. i just want u 2 be my n only my.. i noe that u are trying to change from tumb down to ups.. i dont like to hear people gosip about u..

A msg frm my papa..

Continue back my story...

My 2010 is worse then i expected.. 8 more days to go.. Thought my 2010 am goin to be a change gerl but i was wrong. Spending my life to sum place which i shud not belong. Gosh!!! Hw am i goin to face all this seh. My Life like shit.. regret for watever happen.. Haiz..

To my Lovely Papa...

I marah kat u coz i got a reason why.. Coz i tak nak u jadi sochai org kesana sini.. Papa... U noe i just left with 8 days outside. This 8 days is very precious for me. All i need is u by my side 24/7 not leaving me even a second. When u at werk i wait patiencely for u to return even am alone by myself outside. Today is sunday is the only day i haf with u, yet its still the same.. Why dnt u simply understand mama punye perasaan.. u want me to understand urs and i did. but why cant me.. papa.. next week sun is the last day last night i with u tau.. The next day am gone by urside for one year.. Plz syg, every tyme, every second, every minute, every hr ur moments is very precious for me. Please juz be with me for this 8 days. I dnt even ask u to take mc juz to b with me. I just need ur little tyme of urs to b with me. U noe for this few days am so emotional and hot tempered.. Can u jus be patince with my attitude.. I was so stress with what happen in my life. u NOE what am drifting away frm u papa... Leaving u outside by urself without me by ur side. I just cant bare to leave u juz like tat.

Today why i attitude is because am TOTALLY sad with u. U break the promises we made. Why must u do this to me papa... Kerana kawan atau ex u sanggup tipu i.. I buat u skali tapi nie dah dua kali u buat i. Kenapa papa... kenapa... apa salah i sampai u sanggup buat i nie mcm.. (nie bukan ungkit tapi this is the feelings tat i haf nw)... i want happiness nt sadness.. u sendiri tau dah brape hari i asyik ngangis fikir kan mcm2.. yet u hurt my feelings.. Arghhhh!!!!

Well syg, i gt nothing much to say nw. All i can say to u is Think first before u do something... Mama love eu so much!!!..

End of my blog for today.. will continue tmrw..

Alone...

All alone in MAcdonald waiting for my papa to cum back frm werk... Gosh!!! am damn cold here... Ware u papa?? kata 15 min pai... tak pai2 pun... hmphhhhh!!!!!!...

he is here.. gtg... hahahaha

My New Life

Its been such a long tyme never write a blog.. Nw am back with my new life with a new love..

Its have been three mths with hym, many obstacles i haf gne thru with hym... Alhamdulilah everything goes well.. Hopefulli he is the one i go on in my life... I love hym so much... He never fails to make me smile everyday... Love u papa...

No one can ever replace papa in my life even i lose u one dae...

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Today day out with DoriKin.. Hang ard as usuall at Jurong... First we go makan... Then we go to our fav hang out tats Library... Yeah i noe sound stupid but then its a nice plc to hang ard... Took pictures, videos and busy with our lappy....

Later we goin to go makan again... Hahahahah.. and hang ard sumwhere we can lepak... Only me n DK noe... hahahaha....